Chapter 4 The DEA Man

Chapter 4 The Dea Man

Ok so it’s the next evening about 6:30 pm, I’m sitting in the living room, playing on the computer. Then my wife says someone at the door. NOT AGAIN!!! I’m getting really tried of this and It’s got nothing to do with me!!!!! I go the door and am meet by the guy I talked to last night and with him was a guy wearing a DEA JACKET. First off the DEA jacket scares the hell out of me. Does he have a dog what’s going on here? The only thing they might find is a few roaches from years gone by, but HELL!!!
The in the DEA jacket says that he’s the HNC. An he start laughing. The other The one all in black said Ya he’s the HNC. Ok I’ve heard most every redneck phrase there is, this is not ringing a bell at all and I’m southern to the bone baby at least 6 generations in Alabama alone. I ask what does that mean? He says Head Ni---- in Charge and laughed again. I didn’t think it was funny at all, and yes I grew up in the 70’s and we’ve all used that word in one form or another, but I’ve learned better. And that’s what life is all about meeting people and learning from them, whither it be good or bad In life you need the whole picture not just parts you like. Anyway I’ll quit the sermon.
Back to my story. The DEA man said he was the Boss of the rest of the Bounty Hunters. Alright he’s not DEA, he just an arrogant son of a bitch. He says he’s the head honcho and was following up on what I had talked about last night. He show me the picture again and I tell the same information from last night. He then holds the picture up of the fugitive next to my face and says I could pass for him. You know what he ain’t half wrong either, except a lot more handsome. I laugh and he laughed, but I knew he had come out here just to make sure I wasn’t him.
He went on and on about his authority and what he could do and what he couldn’t do, which I already knew. When your wife has a criminal justice degree and is a CSI junkie long before the TV show came on I know quite a bit. He said he had talked to my 70 year old neighbor and she said the last time she had heard of the fugitives where abouts, he was in Atlanta or Colorado. The Head Bounty Hunter said that there was junk all over the house and the dog was shitting in the floor. All they did with the shit was cover it up with carpet fresh and just leave it there. SICK. He believed that they were selling pills out of the house or at least the daughters were getting them and selling or taking the pills. I’ve hear a list of what the lady and her deceased husband were taking. One of the grandkids used to come over and he would have all kinda pills he would steal from them.
Anyway I’m out there talking to him for about 45 min. He finally figured out I was not some dumb redneck. He told me about his life and that his wife had left him for another Woman, the only thing he said was he was upset that they didn’t let him join in. During this time my cousin was over at my house. He was talking to a friend of his which happened to be a girl. Me and my wife were curious of what she looked like. He told her to stop by an vist a while.
Well, while I’m talking to the Head Bounty Hunter, she comes pulling up. She walks up the porch steps. Then she and the Head Bounty Hunter connect eyes and she says “are you gonna take me in tonight”? Jokingly. She informed him that she was a manager at a local gas station. They talk a little like they knew each other well. She went on inside my house with my cousin.
At this point the Bounty Hunter asks if she has ever been over here before and do I know her. Of course I’ve never seen her before in my life. He then looks me in the eye and says we need to have a talk and pulls me over to the side. OOO MY GODD WILL YOU PEOPLE JUST LEAVE AND GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY LIFE!!!!!!!! I was thinking to myself. He start talking softer and says that he knows her, that her and her ex-husband and He and his ex-wife used to be friends. He said “I’ve gotta stack of paper work on her right now about 3 inch thick, and if I had had it tonight I would be taking her in.” He said she stole people identities and had run up $20,000 dollars on someone and for me and my cousin to be careful. He told me a lot more about her, that I won’t go into, but I got the funny feeling he had fucked her.(I was Right too. Come to find out later.) Finnally the Bounty Hunter and I ended our hour convo and THEY FINNALLY LEFT!!!!!!!!! ALRIGHT!!!!!!....................................Ok NOW I GOTTA GET RID OF THE CRAZY BITCH THAT SITTING ON MY COUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAARRRHHHGGGGGG!!!!!
I go back in and listen to her talk a little bit, she leaves to go get some party favors so she can stay up for 2 days and then go back to work. I tell my cousin whats went down and he make up a story so she don’t comeback. THANK GOD!!!!! I DO NOT NEED THIS STUFF IN MY LIFE. I’m too damn old for it now.
Anyway the next night which is Friday Me and My wife are sitting there waiting and watching for someone to show up and thank god they don’t its 9:00 pm. WE CAN GET OUR DRINK ON NOW!!!!

Chapter 5 There Here!!!!!! Poltergeist Stephen Spielberg’s got nothing on my neighbors!!!!!